Sad news...

First of all, thank you for all the support!  2 days ago I wrote that I was "feeling pretty low" on facebook and I couldn't believe all of the kindness and encouragement coming from everyone even though they didn't know my troubles!  I honestly wasn't trying to get attention so I'm a little embarrassed but thankful that I have so many good friends around the world. I'm sorry it's taken me a bit to write this post, as I'm sure you all have imagined the worst!  It's just that we've decided that we just can't afford to live in Hawaii anymore and will be moving back to Utah.  It's not the end of the world and things could be much worse but it sure is discouraging when we've been working so hard to be able to stay here, finish school and move on to our dreams in life.  If you want to read the whole story and the reasons behind this, here it is (Geoff wrote the following, his first time writing for the blog!):

As you all know, last year I was accepted into the Japanese graduate program at UH (University of Hawaii) to pursue my PhD   We felt it was the right thing to do so we sold our house and pretty much all of our possessions and came here right after Christmas.  Our original plan for covering the cost of school in Hawaii was to come and get scholarships, funding from the university, including a part-time job teaching undergrads, and continuing with the online work we did in Utah.  We also planned to sell our house for a good profit, based on the current market ($60,000 - $100,000) to use as a backup reserve.  In our estimation, we thought this would cover our costs if I finished his degree in three years.  But things didn't go according to plan.  We got limited funding from the school, and no work teaching undergrads until this fall.  (The Japanese department at UH is really hurting for money right now.) 

On top of that it is probably twice as expensive to live here than we thought it would be.  We spent at least $10K probably $15K getting established the first month, including ridiculous rent of $2,900 to $3,100 a month because we had to take the only accommodations that were available on the island at that time (who knew the entire island could be booked!)  This zapped our funds quickly that first month and we hadn't sold our house yet.  Some very kind family members (thank you!) loaned us additional $ so we didn't die.  We had to sell our house quickly and only got $40,000 out of our house.  By this time, it became apparent that even with funding, work at the university (including tuition waivers), and employment during the summer, we were not going to be able to make the yearly income that we would need to get by, living very frugally I might add.  So we looked around for anyway to make the money we needed and thought of a business idea.  Where we live we have a load of tourists who pass by a little shopping strip everyday, and we have thousands of residents sequestered away in a bubble community.  The business prospects seemed good.  Consulting with the developer, we came up with the idea of opening a shave ice shop, which according to our research had the potential to look very profitable.  The management of the resort community shot that down at the very end of our months of research and preparations to move forward with business.  We felt very bummed.

But, the developer admired our tenacity and organization, as well as our "business sense".  He

encouraged us to submit another proposal with a concept that he already had approved by the management.  We latched onto his idea of a Hawaiian home decor store and made a good plan.  We made contacts with suppliers and artisans all over the islands and created a concept that everyone was excited about.  Then someone else put a home decor store right into our spot. :( Luckily our concept and product line-up was adaptable and we developed a new concept of a store that sold gifts that are only made in Hawaii by local artisans  (a commodity hard to find in Hawaii, that we really wanted to support), rather than goods manufactured in China etc.,  It looked great, but we needed a few investors which we were able to find.  But Hawaii is notorious for being a really difficult place to start up a business and the state wouldn't let us use our own subcontractors and required so many permits and fees that our initial estimate of $20K (that we got from a contractor friend) for build out costs ballooned to $80K to $100K.  Some investors dropped, which was completely understandable. Luckily, one investor was still interested and we looked into an alternative line of funding.  We were approved for a business line of credit for more than the amount needed, that allegedly would not go on our personal credit and would generate less interest and hassle than bank loans but we found out that it would in fact go on our credit, would consist of multiple credit cards, and would require a $10K closing cost in addition to interest and fees.  We all dropped the plan then.  There is no way that we are going to sign a five-year lease agreement with so much to lose and so many added fees.  It was dangerous and didn't feel right.  And so our plan to generate enough income to live in Hawaii fizzled.  We had looked into other job options for me and although it would be quite easy to get a job using Japanese, none of them paid even close to what it would cost to support a family here (one of the big problems the people here face) and if I did work full time I  couldn't go to school at the same time and it would defeat our purpose of coming here I also needed to be available to help Rachel when her health required it.

As all of this was going on, things at school this semester were not going great.  I only took two classes to free up time to get the business started.  I also planned to take the next semester off to use all my time to get it off the ground.  On of these classes was directly related to what I thought I wanted to study at  this university.  It was terrible, tedious, and completely uninteresting.  I was also generating doubts about the appeal of working as a professor that spends the majority of his time in an office researching with teaching a few classes on the side.  I talked to my counselor to confirm what this degree was leading to, and by all indications when I finished with a PhD, if I got a job, I'd get maybe $50K a year.  I thought about changing my program and focus.  The Department also sort of forced my hand.  If I don't attend next semester, I lose my spot in the program and would need to reapply.  I was having serious doubts about this.

So the long and the short of it is that we're coming home.  We already had tickets to fly home for Christmas and decided we better just fly home to stay.  The tickets were non-refundable of course and we would save a lot by putting in our notice in now to end our lease contract now and not have to pay for the rest of December and also not have to pay the extra utilities.  Our monthly rent for our 3 bedroom condo here is very expensive and most people pay at least $1000 more (we were very blessed to be in the right place at the right time to snatch this place up which was foreclosed on and is rented out by the Ko Olina board for much less than it would normally go for.)  The electricity in Hawaii is also very expensive so our electric bill runs from $300 to $400 even when we use our AC sparingly.  So although it's hard to leave we feel that it just makes sense to figure out a new plan from Utah where it is so much cheaper, even though that means finding a job, home, car etc very quickly, all over again!

We did learn a lot of things in Hawaii, including how to set up businesses and make contacts.  Rachel and I plan to open a business which involves teaching and interchange with Japanese people, perhaps with a tour element on the side, since we are quite savvy about how to do Hawaii cheaply and well.  It's just a dream right now, but we've learned how to work with dreams to make them something that works.  I think it is for the best.  Our new adventure is to find out how we get there.

And I might add (this is Rachel now) that my health has improved so much here!  Before we left I struggled to take care of the girls because I was so weak but here, although I still deal with my health condition, I have seen great improvement and if I exercise daily, eat well, get plenty of sleep, take my naps, don't drive too much or shop too much or overdo it etc I am able to do the daily tasks I need to, which is such a blessing! I am so thankful to be stronger now and hope that even though it will be a shock to my body to switch to such a different climate I will be ok because I'm starting out stronger. (I also hope to be able to make enough someday to go see some of the specialist for my condition which are pretty rare and see great improvements!)  

The blessings of living here have been amazing!  The most wonderful is our ohana here and we will miss them so much!  Our ward (church group), neighbors and friends and amazing, up beat, talented, caring people and it's been so great to support and be supported by them.  We hope to bring our Japanese school groups to Ko Olina and Kapolei to share this amazing area with them and be able to spend time with all of you in the future.

I also love, love, love living by the ocean!  That's been a dream of mine and it's been amazing!  I love the beauty of this island and we will try to soak up as much of it as possible until we fly out on the 19th!  It's been an extremely stressful year and I don't think I could've handled it in a place less amazingly beautiful than Hawaii.  Often I would go swim in the ocean or see a sunset or an amazing rain forest and be ok.  

We have also loved having people come and visit us and spend time here.  I loved being able to help people enjoy the amazing experience of Hawaii with out the cost of paying for a hotel and getting to know all of our guests better.  We hope many of our Hawaii friends will visit us in Utah as we love having guests in our home!

And we are so thrilled to see our Utah family and friends!  The hardest thing about being here is not being able to spend lots of time with you in person, like we prefer.  So bring on the visits and fun in Utah!

Anyway, this has gone on long enough and is probably way more information than any of you wanted but thank you so much for the support and kindness.  I hope to post often as we enjoy out last month living on this amazing island.  Pray for us to be wise about our next steps and that we can find a good job and home in Utah.  I know we all have struggles in life and we pray for all of you too.  The Lord loves each of us and although life is challenging, it's also amazing and those challenges are needed to make us the kind of people our Heavenly Father knows we can be.

Aloha!